Tuesday, March 4, 2008

An attack of unseen proportions (Ramblings)

So I have had a lot go on in my life lately? It's already the third month in the new year and I think I'll take sometime to update you a little bit about what's going on in my life and the life of my family. Well most know, but we had our second child back in August of 2007 and she is already six months old. Time goes by way to fast. She's been a good baby, puts herself to sleep, isn't cranky or fussy. We've cut our first two teeth, had a bout with RSV and are about to take off crawling.
Peyton has become a real character also. He's the best brother you could ask for. He has a real love for his little sister. He will be turning four this year. His vocabulary has increase a thousand times in the last year. He loves to rough house, can use the computer better then a lot of adults and is growing in his faith. He loves church and loves to read from his bible.
Jenn has had a lot of changes in her life as well. She graduated from WTAMU in December, and got hired as a second grade teacher on January 3rd. She's been extremely busy learning all that comes with teaching, but she is going to be great. It probably doesn't help much that I make a bigger mess then the kids usually.
For now, that's an update on the rest of the family. Onto what I came to write about. December 31st marked my last day as an employee for the church. My position pretty much was no longer needed, so I was out of a job. The great thing is, Jenn and I have been ok with it. The Lord moved in our lives, and gave her a job 3days after mine was over. But before all that, we had applied for a youth pastor position in a small town outside of Lubbock. We had our first interview back in October, and felt like things went good. Then we went back for a second Interview in early December, and felt like things had gone great. We just knew we were moving. Well, it's March 4th, and we still have had no word. I understand that our lives our in God's hands, and we'll move when He says move, but I also know that Satan knows what's going on in our lives. I just feel like lately I'm not man enough for a life in ministry. I feel like Satan has been speaking his lies to me that I'm not good enough, I'm not strong enough in my faith to lead people for Christ. And well to be honest, I've had a hard time fighting off his lies. I have this deep passion inside me to grow in intimacy with the father, yet I believe the lie that I can do it by sitting back and doing nothing. I guess what I'm saying is, I believe that Satan is at work today. I know he's working in my life, he's telling me that I'm not good enough, that I've fallen to far from Christ to ever be back in grace with the Father. and I'm sick of it, I'm sick of his lies. I Stand up and Proclaim Freedom in Christ, Freedom that when Satan says, your not good enough, that I know through Christ I am, that when your a sinner, Jesus says i take your sins.
So I guess what this post is about is, be aware, be very aware. Satan is still at work today, he's just more clever. When you go to the Lord in Prayer and get side tracked about a meeting later that day, it's the evil one trying to keep you from communicating with your Father. When it's more important that you get to play golf, work out, or finish that project at work then spend time with your wife and children. It's Satan giving you the ok. Because he knows that keeping you and your wife in disagreement is destroying the covenant you took at the alter. Just because something seems good, doesn't mean it is. I truly believe that Satan takes something that seems good and uses it to get us out of focus with what Christ is wanting for our lives. I've always heard it said that, "Satan is the mirror image of God" Which means it looks good, it's just backwards. Thanks for taking time to read my ramblings.

Brandon

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Been a long time since I have checked your blog. Probably because you haven't written in about 7 months, but that is beside the point. Wow - a lot is going on in your life and I stand in agreement with you satan has no place in your life right now. If you have been listening to his lies, repent and return to Father who alone can comfort you. This might seen odd, but have you read the book, The Shack, by William Young? Father wants you to read it to remind you of His love and power. He knows His plans for you. We love you guys.

Jimmy and Heather and the crew

Anonymous said...

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Heather said...

Don't know how often you check this - not often I am guessing, but I tagged you!!!

R.S. said...

Brando,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. My blog has turned into a once a year post i think, so don't feel bad about not updating!

Anyways, you are right that He holds the 4 of you in his hand. I know you well enough to know that you are a son of the Father, Jenn is a beloved daughter, and your precious children are his children. I pray your minds and hearts are full of this reality during this trying season. If the ministry was about being "man enough," then all the 'real men of genious' (everybody) could do it. You know from experience and from the scriptures that calling and faithfulness are at the forefront. In that regard though, you have what it takes...fear not. I doubt that any minister (who is honest) believes they have what it takes apart from the grace of God and a calling. You're also correct that these doubts and the tempting of the evil one are nothing new-- remember the wilderness temptations? "turn these stones into bread...throw yourself down...it's not enough to be God's son...prove yourself!"

I pray you hear the father's voice, as Jesus did shortly thereafter, saying "this is my beloved son with whom i am well pleased."

you're the man,
strebeck

Langwell Family said...

Thanks Brandon. I really needed to hear that today.

Teri